April 2017 - This patient previously attempted suicide and was life-flighted by helicopter, where he was revived against his will. He speaks about planning to end his life in the next few weeks by refusing all life-sustaining medications. Update: Oct 2017 - David notified cshabuse.com that he recently stopped taking all of his insulin and diabetic medications for type-2 diabetes so that nature will take it's course and allow him to die naturally.
April 2017 - This patient is 64 years old, and has spent 11 years at the hospital, being involved in "treatment" the entire time. He states that he suffers extreme mental anguish, however, knowing that men seldom complete the treatment and get released. He states that he regrets that two prior heart attacks did not kill him. He states that he is tormented daily by thoughts of wanting to "die now", but does not feel strong enough to kill himself. He also states that 75% of current hospital staff are "mean and lack compassion".
April 2017 - This patient is 64 years old. He has spent 11 years at the hospital. He gave up on "treatment" after 5 years because "hardly anyone gets out". He is now refusing cancer diagnostic testing, as well as all future medical tests because "I don't care if I die". He has been bullied and attacked by other patients, and has partial deafness in left ear.
This section contains recordings of statements made by various CSH patients. These recordings were made over telephone conference lines and each patient gave his consent for being recorded.
This collection represents a portion of what is present in the recording archives.
April 2017 - This patient feels hopeless and refusing all outside medical treatment, and states that he feels "ready to die". He reports being abused by staff and beaten by other patients without there being consequences to either. (Note: this is an elderly patient.)
Patient "Jessica J"
Total Recording Time 00:01:54
Patient "Tom T"
Total Recording Time 00:03:39
April 2017 - This patient is 62 years old and feels "overwhelmed with grief and frustration", sees no way out of the hospital except by dying, and states "if this is the case, I wish I could die already". He reports being abused by staff, bullied and assaulted by patients, and sees no consequences to either.
Sept 2017 - James H has been in treatment for 11 years, and has not advanced due to rotation of facilitators who make him repeat work. He feels despair and hopelessness. Often, he feels like he will die at Coalinga because he is not in good health and has heart problems.
Patient "James W"
Total Recording Time 00:05:28
Patient "David O"
Total Recording Time 00:01:27
Patient "Tim W"
Total Recording Time 00:04:56
Patient "(redacted - R.O.)"
Total Recording Time 00:01:14
April 2017 - This patient is 44 years old. He states that he feels hopeless and depressed every day "as I know that I'm going to die here". He states that he wishes that he "could just die now!". He also states that he has witnessed staff and (hospital) police use extreme force on patients, throwing them to the floor, use of billy-clubs, with the patients experiencing broken bones, etc.
April 2017 - This patient states that he feels "hopeless and depressed", and has resolved himself to the fact that he will die within the hospital.
Patient "David L"
Total Recording Time 00:01:33
Sept 2017 - Tim W is 55 years old. Came to Coalinga in 2006, from Atascadero State Hospital. Has been in treatment for 17 years, and states "I'm not a better man, I'm a broken man. I've been traumatized, I have mental anguish, depression, and am about to quit treatment." Tim now believes that he is likely to die at Coalinga. He has 80 groups completed, and 7,000 hours of classes. 3 family members have died during the 17 years. His 94-year-old mother may die soon. This is a compelling recording.
Sept 2017 - Jessica J is 63 years old. A transgender patient who feels traumatized and depressed over denial of a single room. Forced to live with three other male patients in a dorm for several years despite a recommendation from psychiatrists for a single room. Views the hospital as being out of control, patients angry and hopeless, confrontational. Dropped out of treatment because "treatment is futile." Expects to die at the hospital.
Patient "James H"
Total Recording Time 00:00:59
Patient "Billy R"
Total Recording Time 00:12:59
April 2017 - This patient reports having made previous suicide attempts, and that he currently has suicidal ideation. He also reports having been assaulted by staff, without investigation or consequences for the staff.
Last Update: Sept 2018
Patient "Marcel G"
Total Recording Time 00:01:52
Patient "Joe J"
Total Recording Time 00:01:39
Patient "Richard T"
Total Recording Time 00:01:08
Patient "Mark M"
Total Recording Time 00:02:10
Sept 2017 - Billy R has been one of the "star" pupils in the Coalinga treatment for over 11 years. He is despondent, depressed, and gives a scathing, detailed synopsis about the programs, abuses, failures, and his experiences. He has had over 89 facilitators. Billy feels hopeless, and believes he is likely to die at Coalinga, at this point. CSH is out of control. He is very credible. This lengthy recording is worth listening to.
April 2017 - David L is 71 years old, dropped out of the treatment program when he realized that it was a "death sentence." He wouldn't live long enough to complete the treatment program, as most patients, he learned, have been in it 10, 15, even 18 years. He has stated that he believes that he will die at Coalinga State Hospital.
Patient "Sam C"
Total Recording Time 00:01:34
April 2017 - This patient has been in "treatment" 20 years, and is overwhelmed with hopelessness because the treatment never ends and there are no defined waypoints. He has been mistreated by staff and physically assaulted by a psych(otherapy) tech named Lauren Wallace. Staff have never faced consequences for their misconduct.